Table of Contents

About This Book.

About the Author.

Acknowledgments.

Introduction.

Part I: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know.

Chapter 1: Why Children with Special Needs Struggle Socially.

• Why Teach Social Skills?
• Language Difficulties and the Hidden Rules of Conversation.
• Difficulty Recognizing and Labeling Feelings.
• Poor Problem-Solving Skills.
• Failure to Mimic Behavior.
• How Children Deal with "Different" Behavior.
• Why Train Preadolescent Children?
• Two Major Weaknesses That Lead to Social Mistakes.
• Black-or-White Thinking.
• Teaching Children with SN the Behaviors of Popular Children.
• The Importance of Early Intervention.
• Teaching Joint Attention.
• Two Major Deficits.
• Ten Essential Skills for Being Socially ADDept.
• Notes.

Chapter 2: Tips for Communicating with Children.

• Coaching Children on Desirable Behaviors.
• Role-Playing the Right Way Versus the Wrong Way.
• Empathy: Being in the Other Person's Shoes.
• Using Humor.
• Observing and Dealing with Perseveration.
• Recess.
• Monitoring Play.
• Using Opportunistic Reinforcement.

Chapter 3: Setting Individual Goals and Giving Structured Feedback.

• Building Skills Teaches Resiliency.
• Helping Children Set Their Goals.
• Creating an Individual Program for Each Child.
• Using the Self-Evaluation Forms.
• Using the Self-Evaluation Form to Confirm Joint Perception.
• The Parent's Role as Facilitator.
• The Teacher's Role as Facilitator.
• Parents and Teachers Working Together.
• Rewarding Progress.
• Correcting Omissions or Inappropriate Behaviors.
• Self-Evaluation Form: Listening.
• Self-Evaluation Form: Showing Interest.
• Self-Evaluation Form: Paying Attention to Stop Signs.
• Self-Evaluation Form: Controlling Talking Too Much.
• Self-Evaluation Form: Being a Good Host.
• Charting Negative Behavior.
• Charting Positive Behavior.
• Notes.

Chapter 4: Ways Parents Can Help.

• Helping Your Child Find and Excel in an Activity.
• Preparing for Social Situations.
• Using Discipline During a Play Date.
• Preparing Children for New Situations.
• Teaching Manners.
• Building Physical Coordination.
• Helping Children Learn About Time.
• Using Humor Appropriately.
• Finding a Social Skills Group.
• Meeting Other Parents.
• Getting Help for Yourself.

Part II: The Socially ADDept Lessons.

Lesson One: Friendship Skills and Setting Goals.

• 1.1 What Makes a Friend?
• 1.2 What Do Friendly People Do?
• 1.3 Ten Friendship Skills.
• 1.4 Defining Personal Goals.
• 1.5 Defining Positive Qualities.
• 1.6 Identifying Children’s Special Interests.
• Exercise 1: What Do Friendly People Do?
• Exercise 2: Defining My Personal Goals.
• Exercise 3: Tooting Your Own Horn.
• Exercise 4: Private or Public Talk?
• Exercise 5: Identify Your Interests.
• Exercise 6: Friendship Cards: Keep a Record of Facts About Your Friends.
• Exercise 7: Good Host Rules.
• Exercise 8: Finding Neighborhood Activities: The Parent's Job.

Lesson Two: Being a Good Listener and Other Conversational Skills.

• 2.1 Listening.
• 2.2 Listening Mistakes.
• 2.3 The Body Language of Listening.
• 2.4 Elements of a Good Conversation: Listening and Responding.
• 2.5 Different Types of Questions.
• 2.6 Other Kinds of Responses.
• 2.7 How to Deal with Perseveration.
• 2.8 Arranging a STOP Sign.
• Exercise 9: Listening Facts.
• Exercise 10: Eye Contact.
• Exercise 11: It's Those Eyes!
• Exercise 12: Stopping When Asked.

Lesson Three: Verbal Conversational Skills.

• 3.1 Greetings.
• 3.2 Conversation Openers: Small Talk.
• 3.3 The Middle of the Conversation: Asking Questions and Making Comments.
• 3.4 Other Ways to Continue a Conversation.
• 3.5 Exiting a Conversation.
• 3.6 Conversation Mistakes.
• 3.7 The Four Kinds of Friendship and When to Share Feelings.
• 3.8 Off-Limits Topics.
• Exercise 13: Sharing the Airtime.
• Exercise 14: Listening and Adding to the Story.
• Exercise 15: TV Host.
• Exercise 16: Using the Telephone (for Children at Home).
• Exercise 17: How Do Boys Greet Each Other at Your School? How Do Girls Greet Each Other?
• Exercise 18: How Do Children Say Good-Bye to Each Other?

Lesson Four: Communicating Feelings Through Body Language.

• 4.1 Facial Expressions.
• 4.2 It’s Those Eyes.
• 4.3 Open or Closed Gestures and Posture.
• 4.4 Respecting Personal Space.
• 4.5 Touching People.
• 4.6 STOP Signs.
• Exercise 19: Facial Expressions.
• Exercise 20: Practice Identifying Feelings in Facial Expressions and Body Language.
• Exercise 21: Body Language.
• Exercise 22: Physical Proximity.

Lesson Five: Being "in Sync"—Understanding and Echoing Tone.

• 5.1 Using Music to Teach Emotional Harmony.
• 5.2 The Tone of Emotions.
• 5.3 When the Tone or Body Language Disagrees with the Spoken Words.
• Exercise 23: The Right Tone of Voice
• Exercise 24: Volume Control.
• Exercise 25: Practice Identifying How Feelings Sound.
• Exercise 26: Copy Cat: Practicing Being in Someone Else's Shoes.
• Note for Lesson Five.

Lesson Six: Recognizing Friendly Behavior.

• 6.1 Recognizing Friendly Behavior.
• 6.2 Review of STOP Signs.
• 6.3 Nonverbal STOP Signs.
• 6.4 Verbal STOP Signs.
• 6.5 Reading STOP Signs.
• 6.6 Play Red Light, Green Light.
• 6.7 Using Manners to Say STOP.
• Exercise 27: Reading Friendly and Unfriendly Body Language.
• Exercise 28: STOP Signs.
• Exercise 29: Recognizing How Other Children Say Good-Bye.

Lesson Seven: Joining an Ongoing Group.

• 7.1 Joining a Group.
• 7.2 Join, Don't Intrude.
• 7.3 Demonstrate the Wrong Way to Join a Group.
• 7.4 Demonstrate the Right Way to Join a Group.
• 7.5 Inclusion or Exclusion?
• 7.6 Rejection Versus Refusal.
• 7.7 Groups and Cliques.
• 7.8 When Your Child Cannot Join a Group (for Parents).
• Exercise 30: Practice Joining an Ongoing Group.
• Exercise 31: Defining the Groups at School.
• Note for Lesson Seven.

Lesson Eight: Dealing with Teasing.

• 8.1 Why Children Tease Others.
• 8.2 Three Major Types of Teasing.
• 8.3 Why Children Use Status Teasing (or Put-Down Humor).
• 8.4 Boys and Status Teasing.
• 8.5 Evaluating the Type of Teasing.
• 8.6 The Wrong Way to Handle Teasing.
• 8.7 Three Strategies to Handle Teasing.
• 8.8 Role-Play Being Teased.
• 8.9 When Jokes Aren't Funny: The Rules of Humor.
• 8.10 The Rule of Equals.
• Exercise 32: Figuring Out the Type of Teasing.
• Notes for Lesson Eight.

Lesson Nine: Managing Anger.

• 9.1 Why Do We Get Angry?
• 9.2 Why Should Children Control Their Anger?
• 9.3 The Hot-Tempered Child.
• 9.4 Identifying Physical Responses to Anger.
• 9.5 Identifying the Child’s Anger Style.
• 9.6 Identifying Anger Triggers.
• 9.7 Checking Out the Other Person's Intentions.
• 9.8 Handling Anger the Wrong Way.
• 9.9 Seven Steps to Process Anger.
• 9.10 Role-Play Handling Anger.
• 9.11 When There Is an Outburst.
• 9.12 Apologizing.
• Exercise 33: What Makes You Angry?
• Exercise 34: Handling Anger Differently.
• Exercise 35: Practice Apologizing.

Lesson Ten: Children in Cyberspace: Old Rules, New Rules.

• 10.1 Cell Phone Etiquette and Rules.
• 10.2 Rules About Internet Use.
• 10.3 Cyber-Bullying.
• Exercise 36: Watch "Kids Online".

Conclusion: Learning Social Skills Is a Lifelong Process.

Part III: Appendices.

• Appendix A: What Is ADHD?
• Appendix B: What Are Learning Disabilities?
• Appendix C: What Is Asperger's Syndrome?

Bibliography and Resources.

Index.